The devil’s in the details

I expect paper napkins when I’m eating at a hole-in-the-wall that serves the best Chinese food in town. Uneven table legs propped up by coasters, half-filled ketchup bottles and packaged jams are part of the family diner experience. At this kind of restaurant, as long as the food is good and the wait staff friendly, I’m a happy customer.

But fine dining establishments? Designer decor, mood lighting and a host draping a napkin across my lap are little more than posing when the details scream lunchtime deli. (On second thought, let me deal with the napkin myself. It creeps me out to have a stranger that near my bikini line.)

When I’m at a chi-chi restaurant, the following are the equivalent of finding gum under the table. It’s all nice on the crisp linen surface until they…

• Serve butter in foil packets: I don’t need my dairy piped into ramekins, but if I have to unwrap my butter I wonder what other prepackaged items are making their way onto the menu. (Sugar packets fall under this category, too.)
• Recycle my cutlery: I cringe when servers clear my plate and place my used utensils on the table for the next course. Setting them delicately on the butter plate is no better.
• Neglect the bathrooms: Cracked toilet handles, chipped sinks and stall doors with broken locks make me lose my appetite. One-ply toilet paper is equally unimpressive.
• End the evening with cheap mints: I always feel cheated when a big bill comes with industrial white and red (or green) striped mints. I’d rather have nothing than the disappointment of bad candy.

Am I the only one who finds this kind of thing unacceptable when dinner for two blows the week’s grocery budget? What little things knock a high-end restaurant off its high horse for you?