Feeding Fussy Eaters

This is Cheryl Arkison, aka the Backseat Gourmet. She’s got a full-time job, a couple of blogs and two young kids. She’s also got a lot of good ideas about handling fussy eaters. When I posted a Reader’s Question about feeding fussy eaters, Cheryl didn’t just post an idea in the comments section, she posted an excellent short article.

Now, Marta made an excellent point about not forcing kids to eat, and Teresa helped her fussy eater develop an adventuresome palate by offering choices — between healthy options, mind you. But, a few of you remain stumped and even confess to being picky about food yourself. Please, if you’re over 21 you’re “discerning”.

Anyway, I liked Cheryl’s thoughtful and detailed response so much, I asked her permission to repost it here. She graciously agreed and provided a photo along with this short bio:

I am a thirty something mom to two girls, ages 3 and 1. While I currently have a desk job working on climate change related issues, once upon a time I worked in professional kitchens and restaurants. Rather than go to cooking school I chose grad school – and look where I ended up! Still wishing I was more directly involved with food again. I take out those tendencies on my children and husband! I don’t think they’re complaining.

Well, Cheryl, here’s your chance to be more directly involved with food again. For those who didn’t read the comments section, here are some solutions from a mother of two.

Getting Kids to Eat
Courtesy of Cheryl Arkison

As my kids get older I am starting to believe that fussy eaters are partially made, not born. There is an element of kid personality in there – stubborn, adventurous, fearful, curious – but there is also what we, as parents do. I believe that if we make an issue out of things, it becomes an issue. So if your kid won’t eat vegetables and we are constantly harangueing them to eat their peas, then they will grow up fighting you on them.

We feed our kids what we eat for dinner – same spices, same seasonings, same ingredients. We put a little of everything on their plate. After that they can choose to eat it or not. If the 3-year-old is refusing her dinner and insisting on cookies then she doesn’t get cookies. But if she ate at least some of what we gave her, and tried everything at least once then she gets some fruit and a cookie (if we have them in the house). She doesn’t go to bed hungry. But if she won’t eat her dinner and just wants a cookie? Sorry kid, you’re S.O.L. No negotiation, just a simple fact that you have to eat dinner before treats.

In terms of on-the-ground tips?

• Sit down together so they see everyone eating the same thing (positive peer pressure). They copy what we do all the time, so model your own good eating.
• Utensils. Change it up sometimes or let them eat with their hands. Novelty can go a long way (for example, The Monster asked to go out for sushi the other day, then refused to eat. We got her the kiddie chopsticks and suddenly she was a a sashimi fiend).
• Get them in the kitchen. It’s no guarantee, but having them help, even as a toddler, gives them ownership and pride in what’s on their plate.
• Get them in the field. Have them touch the food in the ground, as it comes out of the ground. Those memories will trigger lots of enjoyment and association at the dinner table.
• Don’t lie. I’m not a fan of hiding vegetables in food or making up fun names for conventional things. It is what it is and they will like it or not. Of course, family nicknames for things don’t count (we call filled pasta Ghosts, for example)
• Relax. Over the course a week most kids eat a balanced diet (if you offer them one). So one day is not great on the veggie or milk front, tomorrow they’ll eat a bowl of yoghurt and it will be fine.
• Offer, offer, offer. If you only give your kids chicken strips and cheese then that’s what they’ll eat, so don’t complain about it. If you want them to eat something besides that then prepare yourself for a few weeks of tantrums and simply take that stuff out of the house. Then just keep presenting what you want them to eat, no pressure, and hope for the best.

Many thanks to Cheryl for sharing her hard-earned, first-hand experiences. Anyone try these approaches? How did they work? If you’ve got other tricks, we’d love to hear them.