Whisky Works – As the Barrel Turns (Episode 25)

This week, As the Barrel Turns bows to mounting pressure. In lieu of a guest turner or other lame plot device, we’ve decided to answer your burning turning questions.

Is Guelph a highland or lowland whisky?
Since we live atop a hill, we consider ourselves highlanders. The Scots would likely call us something else.

How do you get people to be your guest turners?
We ask them.

No, really, how do convince them to be part of this serial?
No, really, we ask them. We pick up the phone, corner them at parties, stop them as they’re walking the dog. “Sure, why not?” is the most common response, quickly followed by a sober second thought, “What do I have to do?”

Has anyone ever refused the honours?
No, but BBS, who won the chance by correctly identifying the mystery photo of Peggy’s Cove in Episode 20, has remained suspiciously quiet. We are beginning to believe he doesn’t like cheesecake. Either that or a four-hour, one-way commute for fifteen seconds’ of fame just isn’t enough incentive. We’ll throw in a shot of whisky if he agrees.

Are these real people?
We assume you mean are these people who we say they are. For the most part, yes. John Smart is a lawyer. That really is Simon Irving who conducts the Guelph Symphony Orchestra. The angel remover has a day job as a high-ranking UPS Director of Customer Solutions, and Phil Langlotz can be seen around town jamming with the Sack of Yams. And yes, that’s my family. I have my father’s nose and my mother’s mouth. Can’t you tell?

The only “fake” in the bunch is the tax man, whose identity is concealed for obvious reasons. Oh, and Stan’s credentials as a wizard are somewhat suspect. We think he forged them, but aren’t willing to chance inciting his wrath.

Can I turn your barrel?
That depends. For legal reasons, we only consider applicants 19 years of age and older. The other requirements for guest turners are that they can get themselves to our house on their own dime, are willing to surrender their pride, and want to take part in the creative process of scripting the story board.

Are you ever going to actually drink the whisky?
Yes, but the exact date of the cask opening will be revealed in later episodes.

Got more questions? Feel free to post them as a comment and we’ll do our best to give you an answer. Whether the response is straight up or on the rocks depends on our mood.